


Scarred

by Sifle



Series: Sidney's battered broken heart [2]
Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Light BDSM, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-14
Updated: 2014-08-29
Packaged: 2017-11-18 16:00:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 16,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/562822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sifle/pseuds/Sifle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sidney takes comfort in his best friend Geno Malkin after he loses Alex (in Scratched).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Lots of angst and depression in the first few chapters.

Geno was his saving grace lately. He knew it was a terrible thing to do to his friend but he didn't know who he could turn to with his problems. He trusted Geno. Trusted him with all things including his heart. There was a time when he and Geno could abscond to parts unknown to appreciate each others bodies but he wasn't ready for that. Not after what had happened with Alex. Not after selling out his body for a cheap thrill with Tyler Seguin and Brad Marchand, the big bad Bruins. His recent experiences gave that title a whole new meaning, he thought venomously.

He felt like he might be leading Geno on. He wasn't sure. Sidney looked up at Geno and sighed. “Sid...” His deep voice resonated in the quiet room. “Sid need be happy again.” He continued. Sidney looked away. There was nothing he could say to that. Nothing made him happy anymore.

He still practiced any chance he got but the lockout was on strong and he hadn't played competitively in ages. Geno had come to sit next to him as he unlaced his skates. “Not end of world Sid.” He went on. Sidney could feel the heat of his body from the stall next to him. He closed his eyes and huffed out another breath. “I know.” Sid conceded. “So why does it feel like it then....” 

Geno gripped his shoulder. “No worry Sid, I make happy again.” He smiled over at him. Sidney couldn't help the little smile that crossed his lips. Geno was willing to do about anything for him and yes, he definitely knew how to make Sidney happy. He had to draw himself out of this funk. His lover had left him alone, it wouldn't be cheating to take comfort in Geno. 

Sidney nodded silently and continued to get dressed. There was snow on the ground but it didn't feel like winter without hockey. He hunkered into his coat as they walked out to Geno's car. The tall figure in front of him was confidant and Sidney knew he could learn a thing or two from Geno right now. He tightened the belt on his coat and fell in step beside him. 

“Your place...mines too depressing.” Sid muttered as he got into Geno's car. Geno gave him a wide eyed searching look. “Come stay at house, cook for you, feel better when eat good russian meal.” Geno stated as he started the car and headed in the direction of his house. “I'm not really hungry Geno...” Sid's voice was almost a whisper. 

Geno grunted but didn't answer. The ride back was short and silent, Sidney was almost thankful for that. He hated the way he sunk into memories of his ex lover but he had to admit it was comforting. He could pretend that Alex would text him his hotel room number any time. He liked his little delusions. He checked his phone and scrolled down to Alex's number and stared at it for a short while. 

“Sid...” Sidney snapped his head up. He hadn't noticed that they'd arrived. Geno was looking at him sadly. He put his phone in his pocket and extracted himself from the warm vehicle into the biting cold. He took a deep breath and stared up at Geno's house. It had always been a safe haven for him in the past. A place he could go and seek comfort. He hadn't needed that in some time and it struck him how utterly deep in his pit of depression he'd sunk. 

He strode up the steps and waited for Geno to unlock the door. The other man was casting him wary glances as he let him in. The door was barely shut behind him when Geno had enveloped him in a strong hug. He was caught off guard but easily melted into the embrace. He tipped his face up to look at Geno and nearly laughed at how utterly sad the other man looked. “I'm ok Geno.” He said quietly. “Really....I'll be okay.” And for the first time in a month he believed it as Geno pressed his warm lips against Sidney's temple. 

“Sidney good boy, deserve to be happy.” Geno muttered into Sid's hair. His arms clenched the young man tighter to him, slipping hands under his coat and pushing it off his shoulders. “I make you feel better...” Geno went on as he tossed the coat aside and brushed the ice off his collar, smiling down at him. Sidney let himself be taken care of. Geno would never hurt him, would never make him feel anything but safe and loved and wanted. 

Geno took his coat off and led Sidney to the living room, pushing him down onto the large plush couch and gathering him up in his arms. “Stay Sid, not be alone in big house.” Geno whispered. Sidney sighed and laid his head on Geno's chest, stretching out between Geno's legs. “ok” Was the only response he got before he slipped off into comfortable unconsciousness, lulled to sleep by the steady beat of Geno's heart and the warmth of his large strong body. 

He could almost pretend it was Alex and as bad as that seemed he let himself believe for half a moment that everything was alright. It was a horrible abuse of Geno's hospitality and Sidney would never ever let him know that his lilting Russian accent and strong arms reminded him of someone else. Someone he missed very dearly.


	2. Sleepless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poor Geno, the soft hearted schlep who brought him home.

Sidney woke in complete darkness. He felt Geno under him, his body warm with sleep. He pushed him face up into the crook of Geno's neck and buried himself in the other man's scent. He hadn't been this close to anyone since he'd been with Tyler Seguin and Brad Marchand. This fact was painfully obvious as he clenched his hands in Geno's collar a little tighter. 

The sleeping Russian wrapped his arms around Sid and tucked him up close, under his chin. “Sid...” His voice rumbled up through his chest, deep and full of sleep. Sid pressed his lips to Geno's pulse and nibbled. Geno grunted under him, his hand sliding up Sid's back. Sidney was fully aware that Geno could probably feel his half hard cock pressed against his leg. He made no move to even pretend this was something other than what it was.

A long sigh drifted up from Geno and Sidney moved up from his neck to nip at the delicate flesh of his ear lobe. When Geno made no move to stop him, he rose and straddled Geno fully. His fingers found buttons in the dark and fiddled them open and soon his fingers were brushing against Geno's bare chest. He caught glints of light shining off Geno's eyes and watched as they disappeared back into the darkness when his fingers grazed his collar bones and further down. 

The silence filled with long gasps as Sid lowered his head to Geno's chest to lick and tease where his fingers found a sensitive nipple. Geno was growing hard under him and Sid ground against it. It felt amazing to have someone under him again and when he lifted his head from Geno's chest and closed his eyes he almost felt like himself as he rode up against Geno's dick. 

Sex with Geno had never been rough, he had always been a gentle lover. The kind of guy you came back to again and again because you wanted to be treated nice but never stayed with for long because you knew you didn't deserve it. But tonight that wasn't what Sid wanted.

For too long he'd been treated with kid gloves. Everyone was afraid to get cut on the edges of Sid's broken heart. He was getting restless and everyone knew it. Poor Geno, the soft hearted schlep who brought him home. 

Sidney dug blunt nails into Geno's flesh and raked them down his chest. He pressed his mouth to Geno's and swallowed the whimper that was sure to come. He was surprised, however, the whimpers he expected were more like growls. Hands clutched Sid's hips tight and crushed the desperate young man closer to him. He bucked under Sid and pushed him away hard. 

“whats wrong...” Sid whispered in the dark. Geno was breathing hard, his hands were pressed flat against Sid's chest. “not really want me Sid...” He breathed into the silence. Sidney couldn't help but smile ruefully. He ran his hand up Geno's chest and sighed. “How could I not want this?”

Geno reached behind him and flicked the lamp switch on the end table. The room flooded with a dim glow and Sidney flinched as his eyes readjusted. Geno was lying under him looking particularly sexy with his shirt unbuttoned and that lost puppy look on his face. Sidney smiled down at him. 

“I not treat you like him. Not hurt you.” Geno said in a level voice that was completely contrary to his flushed appearance. “What a shame.” Sidney smirked down at him as he tweaked a nipple. Geno gasped and squeezed his eyes shut. With his other hand he unbuttoned his pants and maneuvered his dick out. “Come on Geno, does it look like I'm forcing myself here?” He asked with a lop sided grin as he ran his hand up and down his own shaft. 

Geno was staring at his exposed cock with something like hunger in his eyes. “What you want Sid?” He asked in a rough voice, his hands were running down Sid's back and cupping his ass. Clearly he was going to give in, Sid thought to himself, he had Geno wrapped around his finger. Sid leaned down and nuzzled into his neck. 

“I want you to go and get some lube and finger me until I can't stand it.” He whispered. Geno shuddered. “That alright to start with?” He smiled sweetly as he rose just enough to look Geno in the eye. It made his hips twitch under him when he heard Sid talk so openly about the things he wanted. Geno squeezed Sid's ass once and shifted to get up. “Alright Sid” Geno breathed, “Know I can't turn down...” He sighed as he left towards the bathroom. 

Well that was easier than I thought it would be, Sid thought to himself as he shucked his clothes off. He sat back on the plush couch and let his head roll back as he squeezed his dick. HE needed this so badly, a short term fix, a rush of endorphins, a strong body pressed against him. His dick throbbed as he imagined these things. He was lost in the memory of hands on his body and hot breath on his neck when he heard Geno's quiet gasp. 

His eyed fluttered open and took in the sight of Geno, he'd lost his shirt in the bathroom and his hardon was outlined perfectly, pulling at the cloth of his pants. Geno closed his mouth and traced the lines of Sid's body with his eyes. Sidney was not often this forward with him. There had always been an element of shy uncertainty before. 

Sidney stood and pressed his body against Geno's, his hands tracing his thin leather belt. Geno made that soft growling noise again. It was something Sid had never heard from the other man before and he wanted to explore it a little further. What else might Geno be capable of in the right circumstances? Sid pulled Geno towards the couch by his buckle. Geno went willingly and stared openly at Sidney's naked body with dark eyes. 

He was pushed onto the couch and Sid couldn't help but let out a short laugh as Geno huffed in annoyance. “Never like this before” Geno rumbled as he palmed himself. Sid licked his lips and got to his knees between Geno's thighs. “Don't worry, you'll like it.” He said as he unbuckled Geno's belt and thumbed open his pants. Geno shivered as Sid's fingers grazed his cock, hitching his pants and underwear down so he could lick at the head. 

Soft panting filled the room and gentle fingers were threading through Sidney's hair. He moaned around Geno's cock, taking in inches deep down his throat. Geno pulled his hair at once and Sid lifted his head. “What is it Geno?” He asked, voice rough and eyes wide. But Geno didn't speak. He took Sid by the shoulders and brought him up into his lap for a searing kiss. 

It was rough and sharp and Geno was never like this. But Sidney knew that he'd never been this forward with him before, surprises from both sides he supposed. He was hauled up onto the couch and Geno pushed his face into the cushions so that he was face down across his lap. He lifted his hips and ground his dick into Geno's thighs and was rewarded with soft laughter. Sid whimpered a little, was Geno really going to give him what he asked for? His mouth dropped open and he moaned low and deep in his throat as he felt Geno's lube slicked fingers between his cheeks. 

“Please...Geno” He gasped. Geno was playing with him, never fully inserting his fingers but tracing around his hole and dipping the tip of one in gently. He didn't understand that Sid didn't have to be treated gently, that he could take it, that he wanted it so badly. He bucked in Geno's lap, trying to push back on his fingers, looking back at him to encourage the other man. “No worry...” He muttered, pushing Sid's head back down. “Just appreciate Sid body...” He could hear the small smile in Geno's voice and shuddered, trying to relax his body as Geno finally pushed a finger into him fully. 

He was rewarded instantly as Geno pressed two more fingers in. It wasn't rough or harsh or even rushed. It was languid and Sid opened up to him immediately. Geno groaned as his fingers sunk into Sid with little resistance, plenty of lube making the way easier even if Sid hadn't had practice at this. 

His fingers drug against a nerve deep inside Sidney and the young man let his legs fall limp and quivering, one hanging off Geno's lap. He felt a hand groping his ass and practically melted into Geno's lap, soaking in the attention as he was finger fucked and fondled within an inch of his life. Geno's hand was stroking up and down his back and ass, squeezing and pinching his sensitive flesh as he sunk his fingers into him agonizingly slowly and deliciously deep into him. 

Sid was moaning louder and louder as Geno continued in this way for as long as he possibly could. He wanted Sid as loose, generally speaking, and as relaxed as possible. He could feel Sidney's dick bumping his thigh, he had been hard for some time and Geno would never know how he kept himself in check. Given the same treatment he wouldn't have been able to control himself at all much less demand to be pushed to this kind of limit. He was already having a hard enough time staying his own orgasm as his young captain writhed in his lap. 

“Geno...” Sidney was gasping. “Geno fuck me...” He was begging in short hurried gasps. Geno grinned and hauled Sidney's legs over his lap so that he was straddling him. Geno pressed his face into Sid's chest and lowered him onto his dick. Sidney sank into Geno's lap easily, taking his thick cock all the way to the root. It was so much more to take than his fingers and his mouth fell open and the most lewd moans Geno had ever heard were floating up to the ceiling. 

Sid remained firmly planted for a moment, getting used to Geno's length and girth. Geno was mouthing Sid's chest, his hands sliding up and down his back, gentle and calming. His movements were slow and determined, hands moving further down to grab his ass where they were connected and slip a finger in next to his cock. Sid gasped into Geno's hair and rocked his hips. “Make me feel it Geno...” Sid was begging. 

Geno moaned under him. “Make feel good Sid...” He pumped his hips under him and Sid bounced in his lap with loud shouts and fingers clenched and digging into his shoulders. “Not have hurt Sid, Make good...” Geno was stuttering in english and russian as his captain took his cock deep inside, clenching down on him with every thrust as if trying to suck him in deeper. 

Lips latched onto Sid's neck and began sucking and nibbling. Sidney groaned, eyes squeezed shut before wrenching his neck away and thrusting his hips down on Geno. It was obvious to Geno that Sid was trying to force his orgasm. Geno was mildly shocked that Sid had pulled away from him and he wouldn't forget to ask about it later. His thoughts moved on to other things when Sidney lowered his head to press his tongue into his mouth. 

Geno growled into the kiss and wrapped his arms possessively around Sidney, squeezing him tightly as he bucked under him. Sid braced his hands on Geno's knees and leaned back so that his dick bounced with every thrust. Geno ran his hands down the inviting expanse of Sid's toned chest and abs, took in the sight of this beautiful young man as he threw his head back and let the sweat drip down the column of his throat. 

It was so much more than Geno could take and he began to jerk Sidney off tight and hard, the way he knew he liked it. Sid's teeth cut into his plump bottom lip as he whimpered and groaned his orgasm. He could feel Geno's cock twitch and throb and he jammed his hips down hard into Geno's lap as his come shot over his belly and down Geno's large hands. Geno growled and yanked the young man to him and held him tightly as he came inside him, resisting the urge to bite and suck at Sid's flesh. 

His lap was a slippery mess but he refused to let Sidney go when he tried to push away. “Sid...” The young man stopped struggling briefly and looked down at Geno. “Why not like this...” He said, brushing his fingers over the tender spot he'd initially bitten him. He hadn't bitten that hard, he was certain it wasn't because it hurt. Sidney blushed and lowered his eyes. “He used to do that...” Sid replied and Geno didn't need to ask who 'he' was. But Sidney hadn't told the whole truth. Alex had done that before but Sidney didn't want anyone BUT Alex to do that to him. 

It was a shameful thought and surely it had to be some kind of disservice to Geno but Sidney had lived for those mornings when he'd scrub his face clean in the sink and see the evidence of the night before in the mirror, the evidence of how much he'd come to love belonging to Alexander Ovechkin, and how insistent he was that he would never belong to anyone else that way. 

Geno gently withdrew from Sid and gathered him up against his chest. Its a fair bet that not many people knew that Geno was a cuddler, Sidney smiled to himself. He huddled close to Geno and suddenly the late hour had caught up with him. The beat of Geno's heart lulled him to sleep and by the time his friend had gone to shower he was already dreaming of intense blue eyes and the exotic tattoos on someone else's skin. At the bottom of his subconscious he hated himself for having these dreams. How long would Alex haunt him or would he ever move on at all...

It occurred to him in the cold light of day that something had to be done. He needed some kind of closure or he would be sulking forever. But with the lockout stretching out before him it was difficult to know where he would be and when. Going over his schedule he circled the day of the NHLPA meeting, betting that he'd be sure to show up if there was even one camera present. Sid smiled sadly to himself. He was either getting over this, at long last, or setting himself up for more sleepless nights.


	3. descent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sidney has an attack of nerves. Perhaps Chara can give advice to the crestfallen captain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt this one today. Felt good to get it out of my system and into something constructive. anxiety is a bitch the likes of which i wouldnt wish on chris pronger. :(

Sidney had been so close to getting what he wanted when it was ripped away from him. Or rather when it fled in the night from his constant bullshit. Yeah, he had problems. To be honest he had pretty big problems. Anxiety had taken away his ability to sleep so that he was left mulling over things that were and the thing he’d become.

He was a lifeless, no fun, reclusive, ineffective captain and there was nothing his team mates could say to change that. His lover left him because he’d been a slut. His friends had distanced themselves because he was being erratic. His family had no idea what was going on because he’d refused to say.

It left him in a very dark place. No one understood how close the walls had come around him, suffocating, claustrophobic. All he could do to stave off the impending panic was clutch his knees to his chest tightly and close his eyes. Geno had tried over and over again to reach him but he’d ignored his phone, never checked his email and locked every conceivable locking mechanism on his door. 

It didn’t take much to bring these manic depression attacks on once you’ve had a panic attack. After that its all down hill. Its all about what you did wrong or what you didn’t do or what you should have done. He didn’t have to answer to anyone but himself, he thought, and fuck anyone who tried to guilt him about it.

There was only one person he wanted to see. One person in the world who knew how to take care of him when he needed it, which was becoming more and more often these days. But they were on the outs. He could never ask Ovechkin for help again what with the way they left things. The thought made him withdraw further into depression, curled in the darkest corner of his house with all the lights off, because they hurt his eyes. 

There were always knocks on the door and shouts of ‘i know you're in there’ from the likes of letang and james neal and the rest. But he didn’t want to see them. Didn’t want anyone to see him like this. 

He took a few clonopins, maybe more than he should have, and in an hour or so he just felt empty. There was no happiness, no sadness, just nothing. He could function to a degree like this but his constant sulking appearance was misleading.

There's nothing wrong, he'd say. I'm fine, i'll be fine, i'm just doing my job. Showing up to work dosed up on tranqs was not really ideal but it was better than showing up a complete wreck. 

Everyone knew. It pressed in on him, the sad looks cast in his direction. The sympathy was thick and Sid hated it. He wished they would fuck off and do their jobs. 

There was only one thing that would make him feel better and those arms would not be wrapped around him, stroking his hair, whispering that everything would be alright, ever again. He wasn’t sure where to go once the pills ran out. Strictly speaking no one had really prescribed them, instead one of his family friends had pressed the bottle into his hand and told him it would get better if maybe he saw a doctor.

Fuck that. He was not seeing some quack that was going to tell him to cheer up and look at the bright side and theres other fish in the sea or worse yet plug him into some mental health resource center, 3 day minimum stay and hope you didn't go in on a friday because only working days count in places like that. There wasn’t anyone but Alex. And that fish had gotten away for good. 

He crouched down in a hallway off the main drag at the arena the next day and put his head in his hands. This wasn’t going to work. He was slowly realizing that if something didn’t give soon he was going to break down and cry right here in the arena, shivering and unable to breathe or move. The utter fear of nothing. Of being nothing. 

All he wanted were those gentle hands on him again, calming him, they always had. They had never failed to rock him to some semblance of sanity and he could go about his day. But not this time and never again. Sidney was close to the brink. He took his last 3 clonopins and hoped to god they made him pass out, careless even that he was still at the arena. Too many sleepless night were getting to him. Uppers to stay awake in practice, downers to calm his nerves, sleeping aids to help him sleep which it never did. Nothing ever did what it said on the label. He couldn't stand it anymore. He needed to find his man before he fell to pieces. Whatever Alex had to say to him couldn't be any worse than slowly losing himself to depression and panic. 

Only a few hours to get to the press conferece. Could he pull himself together? He almost let out a whimper, maybe he had because there was a shadow standing in the hallway, a large frame that reached down and looked him in the eye. Zdeno Chara would be in town for the meeting. Of course he would. Chara frowned and lifted me under the armpit till I was leaning against him, as though he were assisting a drunkard. "Sidney, need to go someplace quiet. Arena not good choice." He'd muttered. 

Chara was a nice guy off the ice and he was glad of it. For all the animosity between their teams a Captain should be respectable off the ice as well as on. Sid let out a short sarcastic laugh. Chara was everything a captain should be that he was not. He let himself be lead to Chara's car and barely mumbled his ascent as Zdeno treated him to dinner.


	4. The Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chara and Sidney have a little talk. Sidney may or may not be a little more than petulant.

"Its not as bad as you might think...." Sidney said. Chara eyed him suspiciously. "Its not what I think that matters." Chara had replied. "It looked pretty bad..." He conceded. "Its not like you to sulk in hallways." He finished, looking down and poking at his salad as they sat in the farthest corner of a small cafe. "You forget I know things about you that most might not." Chara muttered. "Unless you've been indiscreet." Chara rose his eyes as he said this. "Have you been indiscreet, Sidney?" He asked putting his fork down and giving Sidney his full attention. 

Sidney blushed. Of course Chara knew a little....Sidney had been fucking Tyler on and off for months. He had to know something. "I..." Sidney started. He had to admit now what he'd been mulling over and over in his head lately. "I might have been a bit... out of line with..." Oh god, is he really telling Chara about this? Of all people? "With Marchand and Seguin." Chara rose his eyebrows. "In the same night." Sidney immediately made himself busy poking at his noodles intently. Oh, whole wheat noodles, cool. He idly thought, desperately avoiding Chara's gaze. 

He heard Chara sigh. "That wasn't right Sidney....not when..." He stopped talking. Sidney looked up. "What do you know about it?" Sidney asked harshly, glaring maybe a bit more than he should at the six foot nine Slovak. "Russians like to gossip..." Chara hinted. Sidney's face fell. He wanted to cry right then and there but he was not going to perpetuate any slanderous rumors that he was a 'cry baby' fuck that. "So everyone knows?" He asked in a small voice. "No, Sidney. Not everyone knows. But everyone sees what's happening to you." 

Sidney couldn't look him in the eye. "Do you want to talk about it?" Chara offered. "I can't talk about this here." Sidney spit out. "I have friends of my own, why do you even care." Chara almost looked hurt. "Have you spoken to your friends about it?" Chara asked. Sidney sighed. "Not really. Some of them know. And some of them know better than to ask. But we don't really....talk...." He blushed. Sidney took his comfort in a more physical way. It was like putting a bandaid on a broken arm and he knew that. But he couldn't talk to Geno about how he felt. Alex was Geno's best friend. It just didn't seem right to make him choose sides. So he kept quiet, kept him close, and smothered his problems in the warm press of Geno's body. Maybe it didn't help in the long run but he couldn't think of anything else to do.

"Is good to talk Sidney..." Chara all but whispered. "You say you...were with my boys. It makes sense now that they worry." Chara sighed, pushing away his plate. He took out his wallet and paid for their meal, pushing away Sid's offers to go halfies. "Need to talk to him, Sidney. Owe him that much. Owe my boys peace of mind." He chided. Sidney cringed. He hated to be cowed. Absolutely loathed anyone telling him what he should or needed to do. Hell if he was going to defy Chara to his face though. He left a little surlier than he'd been before dinner and readied himself in his hotel room for the meeting ahead. 

It was confirmed, Alex was in the city. Alex was in the city somewhere looking amazing, smiling for photos and generally being irresistible. Sidney growled in frustration and tried to put on his press face. How dare Chara tell him what to do with himself. This was his mess and he would clean it up and he didn't need some other Captain from some other team to tell him about himself. He shook his head and had a glass of wine before he left his room. His nerves were all but shot. He had to keep it together for the meeting. He wouldn't have to make any long speeches, just give his two cents on the matter and then go about his business. The business of finding Alex and possibly pinning him in a corner and forcing him to talk to him. At the very least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The short of it is that I'm taking out my personal misery on Sidney because *i* dont feel well and *i* am having problems and god damnit writing is therapy for me. Maybe. I might have also had a few beers. Normally Id have a few beers and watch a fucking game but theres no hockey so fml right? 
> 
> there will be more soon, just wanted to get chara in there so i can invoke him later on.


	5. Just for tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex makes it look easy. But surely the other shoe has to drop right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapters...cause I don't have time to smoke a bold. Bonus points if you get that reference. <3

Alex was flashing smiles like they were going out of style. It made Sidney blush and shove his hands in his pockets. A nervous reaction that had become all to clear to the world around him. He hoped it would be attributed to the lockout and not his close proximity to the sexy Russian standing a few feet away from him. He thought he could maybe smell his aftershave but perhaps his mind was playing tricks on him. He groaned inwardly, only a little longer and he could set his plan in motion. He glanced over at Alex only to find him looking right at him. 

Don't look away Sid, he told himself. He needs to know you're interested. Neither of them looked away until the speaker directed their attention to whatever was going on. Sid wished he knew, he'd been lost the entire meeting but it didn't take much to give a few soundbites that made it look as though he knew what was going on. He'd been through this before. It was pretty much a rerun for him. Finally he could make his way toward Alex, he knew he'd be stopped for opinions but so would the other man. No rush. No one was getting out of here the easy way. 

He gave a meaningful look towards Alex when their eyes met and jerked his head towards a darkened hallway, cut off from the media frenzy. Alex's lips formed a hard line and he nodded. Sidney made his way and leaned against the wall, letting his head fall back and shutting his eyes. He was breathing far too hard. He had to calm his nerves somehow, he breathed deeply and conjured the image of Geno, smiling at him telling him it would be alright in his broken english. He smiled to himself and tried to remember to thank Geno for being so patient with him before he left for Russia. Sid sighed. Maybe Geno wasn't a calming thought after all. When Geno left he would be without his safety net. 

He growled in frustration. "Not let media see angry Sid...Call you Sid Vicious all over again." A deep rumbling voice was next to his ear. His eyes slid open and leaned in a bit closer, shamelessly breathing in his scent. "How have you been?" Sidney all but whispered. Alex sighed and leaned against the wall next to him. "Been better, no hockey, no fun." He looked down at Sidney. "Can see I do better than you..." He knocked his shoulder into Sid's and Sidney smiled sadly. "Been a lot on my mind." He admitted. "you've been...a lot...on my mind." Sidney let out a shaky breath. 

Alex looked him up and down from his place on the wall and gave him a sneaky little smile. "You join my fanclub? Send out lots of photos....Maybe get special print made for you." Alex giggled. Sidney didn't understand how he could be so calm. He'd been dreading this moment for months. Sidney let out a short laugh. "I'd rather have the real thing, buy you a drink? " He blushed and looked down. If there was going to be a rejection it would be now. He steeled himself for Alex's answer. 

"I know great club, take you there, buy you drink instead. Look like you need it." Alex turned to face him as he said this, tracing a callused finger over the inside of Sid's wrist. Sidney shivered. He couldn't believe this was so easy. It was like that night had never happened. He couldn't let it fool him though. It would come out eventually. But for now, maybe he could let himself believe everything was okay, just for tonight.


	6. Crazy for you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sidney knows exactly how to make Alex crazy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Barely got this one done before real life started bleeding into my imagination. Gotta run, hope you like it, there will def be more soon.

Sidney had followed him in his own car, not trusting himself to be THAT close to Ovechkin. He shut his radio off immediately, every song on the top 40 seemed to be about him. He sighed and just shut the damn thing off. He had no idea where Alex was taking him so he kept a close eye on him and parked next to him without even looking at the business they were going to patron. 

He got out of the car and Alex stood at the bumper to wait for him. "You ok with this Sid? I mean....not want push you..." Sidney laughed to himself, it was almost maniacal. Anywhere with Alex was okay with him. He stepped up closer to Alex, not yet touching him the way he had in the hallway. "I don't think you've ever had to push me..." He said in a low voice. Alex grunted and looked uncomfortable for less than a moment before he brought back that familiar toothy grin. "Say what you mean these days...is good to hear. You never like that before." Alex muttered and damned if he didn't blush before he turned his shirt collar up and headed for the entrance. 

Sidney gave himself bonus points for catching Ovechkin off guard. He'd missed him too much to pussy foot around this. Maybe they didn't start as friends but Alex had always known what was good for him and things hadn't been the same since. It was only once he was inside that he noticed there wasn't a pair of tits in sight. "Alex..." Sid laughed. "a gay bar really?" He muttered close to his ear. "The press is gonna have a field day." Alex smiled. "Press not care as long as I don't tweet location." He fumbled his phone out. "meet me at ....for good time" He put his phone away and smirked. Sidney gave him an incredulous look. "is fun to play with fans..." He winked and headed straight for the bar. Sidney thought, yes, he would definitely need a drink. 

Three beers deep and giggling at the bar Alex leaned into him. "Look happy Sid, be happy more often." He leaned back against the bar and looked him over. Sidney was the one blushing now. "I...I didn't know it was obvious...that I was unhappy..." He stumbled over his words. How the hell did Alex even know? How did he know what he'd been going through. Even he didn't know how much he'd miss his rival. "Maybe not obvious to strangers." Alex said nonchalant as he perused the bodies on the dance floor. Sidney felt jealousy flare in the pit of his stomach as Alex eyed a tan skinned young man with his shirt off grinding against anything that came his way. 

Sid glanced at Alex. He was still watching the young man. Sid growled inwardly and downed the rest of his beer in one long gulp before sidling up to the young man and, ignoring Alex altogether, running his hands up the nameless man's flanks. The guy all but purred and lifted his hands to Sid's hair, yanking his head down to his neck. It surprised him but he went with it, mouthing his neck and sucking, looking up at Alex to make certain he wasn't missing the show. Of course he wasn't. He was still leaning against the bar staring with dark eyes, the smile gone from his lips and replaced with something much more dangerous. 

Sidney ground his hips into the young man and loosened his tie, unbuttoning his shirt just a couple of buttons, just enough flesh to drive Alex crazy. He could do this. Make Alex jealous, make him remember what they had and get past all this chatter. He closed his eyes and imagined it was Alex pressed against him. Nuzzling at the man's neck he let his hands travel down his tan stomach and trace his abs. Ovie was definitely bothered. The song was ending and the young man turned to look at him with something like expectation. Sidney smiled at him. "Keep dancing, you're good at it." He said with a winning smile. The young man blushed as Sid returned to the bar and ordered a shot of rum. 

The boy seemed to take his words to heart and threw himself into the next song, looking at both of them with sultry eyes as another young man put his hands on his body. "Good choice, he's hot." Sidney spoke first. Alex turned into him and spoke very close to his ear. "You do this often? Whore for strangers? Not what I bring you here for Sidney." He growled quietly. "Where are you staying?" Sidney asked, ignoring Alex's accusations. "You not driving anywhere." Alex all but spit at him as Sid ordered one more shot. "So you drive then." Sid countered, leaving as much emotion out of his words as possible as he watched his young tanned patron dance for them. 

"You want take him home? Fuck him?" Alex hissed, it was apparent that his intentional plan to make him jealous had worked. Sid turned to him. "No." He said plainly, looking up to him, chin lifted just a bit. Alex looked into his eyes for several long moments and Sidney was falling for him all over again. Even if he was pissed at him, he thought he'd never get to stare into those blue eyes again. He clutched at Alex's hips just then and forced him into a rhythmic dance. Nothing too outrageous like his gorgeous boy on the dance floor, but enough that he could feel Ovie's dick hard and ready through his dress pants. The anger in Alex's features was melting together with lust, it was a fierce glare that Sidney loved, craved, reveled in. Yeah, maybe he had made a whore of himself dancing like that. But it snapped Alex out of his 'safe' chit chat and dove headlong into the kinds of what ifs that Sidney was hoping for. 

'Make him crazy for you' Sidney told himself. 'Force him into fight or flight' he repeated his mantra in his head as he ran his hands up Alex's chest and loosened his tie. "Where are you staying?" Sidney asked again. Alex didn't answer, so Sidney ground his hips against him and yes, that did it. Alex's eyes fluttered shut and his brows knit in concentration. Sidney leaned up and whispered in his ear. "I can make you come in your pants right here instead...." Alex growled and pushed him away, glaring down at him, giving him the most angry searching look he thought he'd ever seen. Sidney reached for his wallet and paid the bartender for their drinks plus another shot. Alex never took his eyes off him. He turned back after downing his rum and gave him another determined look. 

"Your hotel, I drive." Sid laughed, short and bitter. "Going to leave me in the middle of the night again?" Sidney asked, his words all spite and poison. "Don't know Sid. Don't know bout any of this." He answered. Sidney smiled up at him, the spite dropping away as fast as it had come. "I like honest answers." He sighed, letting Alex lead him out of the club and to his car. Giving him directions to the hotel was the easy part. Keeping his hands off him on the drive was a lot harder. But Alex was not smiling anymore. He growled as Sid's hand crept up his thigh but did nothing to deter it. He cursed quietly as Sidney's hand cupped his dick and thanked christ they'd made it to the parking garage before anything more could happen. 

Alex looked down at Sidney as they leaned against the wall of the elevator. He was staring straight forward, hands in his pockets. Alex knew he only did this when he was nervous. He frowned. Sidney wasn't nearly as certain of himself as he was letting on. He was still seething about the show he'd put on in the club. He certainly had balls then. Alex didn't know what was going to happen when they got to Sidney's room. But he was certain it wouldn't be easy, or forgettable.


	7. One night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> heart breaking, demoralizing abuse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like it when sidney gets drunk and pushy. Dover hockey is taking a month off. :( So sad. More time to write maybe...

Sidney immediately ordered room service, a bottle of vodka and a large tip that said 'don't bother us' in not so many words. Alex eyed Sidney warily as he opened the bottle and took pulls directly off it, offering it to Alex. He turned it down. He wanted his wits about him. Not sure if he could trust himself around Sidney sober much less drunk. "Not let me pay for drinks at bar, you that type of date now?" Alex asked, desperately trying to sound light and airy and not incredibly insulted as he was. Sidney giggled quietly. "Was it a date then?" He asked, taking another drink. 

"Wanted to know that you ok....Not leave you in best condition. Was bad friend." Alex muttered, trying not to stare at the exposed skin at Sidney's neck. "We weren't friends back then." Sidney said distractedly, taking off his tie and making sure he made eye contact with Alex as he unbuttoned his shirt further. "Think you liked it better that way." Alex answered leaning up against the counter in Sid's fairly large suite, studying the drunken young man. "That what you want tonight? Just want to fuck?" He asked, eyebrows raised. His tone was even but he was starting to boil inside every time Sid took another drink instead of answering. "Fuck yourself then." Alex hissed and pushed off the counter to leave. This was going to a bad place fast, he thought.

"You came though..." Sidney said, voice quiet and reedy. It made Alex pause. "You came when I asked you to." Sidney strode over to Alex, leaving his shirt on the floor behind him and pressed his bare chest against the starched fabric of Alex's. He nuzzled into Alex's neck and hummed in content. Alex put his hands on his hips and shuddered. “Why did you come?” Sidney asked, licking at the soft lobe of his ear. 

Alex's hands slipped up Sid's flanks. “You know me Sid, never use head...” He all but growled. The smell of vodka was thick and his lips curled in disgust. He pushed Sid back hard and he flopped against the bed. Sid's cheeks were flushed from the booze and he was gasping up at Alex. A heavy weight was upon him instantly. Sidney sighed into Alex's neck and pressed up against him. “What you want from me Sid?” Alex muttered against his neck, sucking hard on the flesh there until it was angry red. If it wasn't clear to Sid from the tone of his voice that he was completely crazy for him, the hard heat of his cock nudging through his pants into his thigh was a dead give away. 

“All I ever wanted was to be yours.” Alex huffed out a sarcastic, bitter laugh. He pulled back and slapped Sidney hard across the face. “Then maybe stop giving self to everyone else...” He spoke low, dangerous in tone. Sidney was looking up at him with wide hazel eyes. Alex smiled down at him, thin and cruel. “One night, just one...” He muttered and Sid wasn't sure if Alex was talking to him or trying to convince himself. Either way, the hot sting of the slap and the throbbing burn on his neck felt like home. His body knew very well how to react to this familiar territory. Sidney melted under him, giving in completely to Alex's oppressive weight. 

All too soon it was gone, he'd pushed off him roughly and left Sidney confused and panting. Alex slipped his shirt off, folded his arms and leaned against the wall and stared at him with hard eyes. “You want? Prove...” He said shortly. Sidney didn't know what he meant and his inquisitive look gained him no answer. All he knew was that he was HERE and he would be damned if he was going to lose his attentions now. 

He reached up and palmed the mark on his neck, noting that Alex was watching intently. He ran his hand slowly from that mark down his chest, sitting up on his elbows. He let his eyelids slide shut as he pinched one nipple. He gasped and pinched a little harder, more roughly, biting his lip to keep from crying out. His dick bobbed with want and he opened his eyes to look directly at Alex. 

He hadn't moved. He was still staring though. Sidney noticed that he'd needed to adjust himself as he looked him over. Sid kept his eyes on him as he let his fingers slip down over his abs and trace the fuzz leading downward to the button of his pants. He lingered there momentarily, keeping his eyes on Alex. He'd looked away. Every fiber of Sidney's being screamed 'look at me! Please please look at me!' but he didn't give these desires a voice.

He had to draw his attention back. Sidney got up on his knees and let his hands slide from his pecks slowly down to his trousers where he ripped open the button and zipper. He pushed them down his thighs until Ovie had no choice but to check out the obscene bulge in Sidney's boxer briefs. He palmed his erection through the thin material and moaned loudly, eyes half mast but still locked on Ovechkin. He watched as Ovie looked away, glanced back, growled and forced himself to look away and adjust himself in his dress pants again. 

Sid jumped when Alex swore and pounded his fist against the wall. Before Sid could comment, Alex had pushed off the wall and seized him by the throat. “This what you want?” He hissed in Sid's ear. Sidney struggled momentarily but Ovie gripped his cock through his briefs and squeezed, causing him to fall back on his heels, still gasping for breath. “Yes...” He managed to grit out, forcing himself not to give in to instinct and rip Alex's hand away from his neck. 

This was all Sid had ever wanted from him. No matter how much kindness he'd shown him in the past, all Sidney Crosby ever wanted was this heart breaking, demoralizing abuse. As sad as it made him, his dick was definitely interested. He forced Sidney out of his clothes, not that he had to try very hard. The kid was already shimmying out of his briefs before his pants even hit the floor. 

Alex stood looking down at him. There was no doubt that Sidney's body was amazing. It was his brain that was damaged. And he told him so in no uncertain terms. The response he got was a dark flush tinting the usually pale skin. Alex traced fingers over the tender spot he'd slapped him and Sid nuzzled into his hand, rose back up to his knees and pressed his naked body against him. “Course I'm fucked in the head.” Sid muttered against Alex's neck. “Why you think I play hockey?” Alex smirked and wrapped his arms around Sid to roughly squeeze his ass. Sid sucked in a breath and buried his face in Ovie's collar but it was short lived. Alex pushed him back down onto the bed. 

“How many men you fuck since me?” he asked. Sidney frowned. He was way too drunk for this line of questioning and he was so very close to what he wanted. “What's it matter?” Sid whined, running his hand up and down his dick once. “It always should have been you...” Ovie glowered and slapped Sid's hand away. “Not ask that...” he rumbled darkly. 

Sidney stared up at him. It was unfair how hard it made Alex. He could only stare as Sidney spread his thighs and raised one inquisitive eyebrow at him. “You get this drunk when you fuck them?” Alex asked, voice raised. Alex ran his hand through dark curls, gripping hard and yanking Sid's head to the side as he reached down and squeezed the base of his cock tightly. “How many Sid?” He hissed in his ear. Sidney was gasping, he opened his mouth to speak, closed it again and repeated this several times. 

“What wrong? Too many to count?” He pushed Sid down and straddled his chest. “Pretty face, how many you let come on it?” Alex wondered quietly to himself. Sid didn't bother to answer. He was too drunk, too turned on. He lifted his hands to caress the place where he knew Alex was inked. It was gentle and Alex purred in spite of himself. 

“Tell me not to do it again.” Sid whispered with closed eyes. Was that all it took? Alex thought it went without saying the first time around. “Doesn't matter. Drunk Sid do what drunk Sid want.” He closed his hand over Sidney's mouth when his eyes flew open. He didn't want to hear anymore of Sidney's excuses. “Don't whine, I give you what you want tonight.” Alex conceded. He whipped his tie off and bound Sidney's hands together. Getting up off him, he hauled Sid off the bed by the tie. He tripped and banged his knees on the floor. When he whimpered Alex laughed. “Is ok, lockout still on. Only need knees for one thing now.” He unzipped his dress pants and pulled his cock out through the slit in his briefs. Holding Sid's hands above his head he pressed Sidney's face against his dick.

Of course Sid knew exactly what to do. He sucked Alex's dick between his thick lips almost too eager. Traces of alcohol burned just on the right side of an easily overstepped line as he filled Sid's mouth. Alex let Sid's hands fall to clutch at his expensive dress shirt and yanked at his hair so that Sid's face was tipped up at him. Alex would never ever deny how good Sidney looked with a cock in his mouth. His thick lips stretched beautifully around him. 

He pressed his dick into the hollow of Sid's cheek and shivered as his tongue curled up the underside of his dick to tease the ridge of his head. It forced a moan out of Alex, made his fingers tighten in his hair as he grew harder, dripping pre come which Sidney hungrily sucked down. 

“So good at this Sidney...” Alex was panting. Sidney pulled back and fell back on his heels. “Take your clothes off.” Sid demanded. Alex ran his hands through Sid's hair and let his eyelids fall shut. “try tell me what to do?” Alex laughed. Sid nuzzled into Alex's palm. “Worked for me earlier didn't it?” Alex growled and pushed him away harshly. 

He stepped back and glared. Sid licked his lips and Alex whined in frustration, jerking his clothes off. He sat on the edge of the bed looking defeated once he was disrobed. Sid crawled up to him. Even bound as he was Alex thought he looked more predatory than submissive. He stared for a few moments before hooking Sidney's arms around his neck and leaning back on the bed with him sprawled across his chest. 

Sidney's face was inches from his and when Sid leaned in to press his tongue into his mouth Alex growled into it. Rough hands grasped Sid's ass and forced him to straddle Alex's thick thighs. He brought his hand up to Sid's lips and he sucked two fingers into his mouth. His hips were grinding into Alex and the Russian only had so much patience. 

If Sidney needed more lubrication than this well....that wasn't his problem. He pressed his spit slick fingers into Sid and fingered him roughly. Sid showed no signs of apprehension as he thrust down on Alex's fingers. Alex stared up at him, tracing raw red lips with his fingers as Sidney squeezed his eyes shut and rode his fingers. 

Sidney's mouth dropped open when Alex's fingers curled against his prostate and he dropped his head down to capture Alex's lips and lick into his mouth until his fingers were white knuckled in their bindings. He gasped when Alex removed his fingers and didn't hesitate to lift his hips so that Alex could position himself to enter him. He moaned long and loud as he sank down onto Alex's lap. Alex gripped his hips and bucked up into him without warning. 

A sharp scream pierced his ears and he slammed up into him again. This time Sidney's screams turned into long loud moans and he was pushing back down onto Alex's dick. “Sid spoiled, always get what he want hm?” Alex growled up at him. Sidney was gasping and whimpering, pressing as close as he could to Alex, desperate to feel the heat of his flesh. “Maybe need learn lesson this time...” Ovechkin bit harshly at Sid's neck and thrust up into him. Sidney's eyes were clenched shut, his arms closing tightly around Alex's neck. 

This is what he wanted, he convinced himself. No matter that Alex was furious with him, no matter that the pace was punishing and his arms were stinging and burning from the tension. Alex was with him, in him, stretching him and owning him. He rode Alex hard and took everything he had to offer. He clenched his jaw shut to keep the desperate whimpers in check, he couldn't look at Alex because the heat of his glare hurt more than the sharp pain of his dick fucking up into him. But the fact remained that he was here now and he would take anything Alex gave him. Maybe he even deserved it. 

Alex's fingers dug into Sid's ass, forcing his pace. The smell of Sidney's sweat was intoxicating to him, reminiscent of a more tender moment they'd shared. This was a pale ghost of the night they'd shared kissing and touching. It was a sharp contrast that threatened to taint the memory of desperately worshiping Sidney's body, trying to convince him that he didn't need this, that he was perfect and should take care with who he shared himself with.

He bit hard on Sid's shoulder, shunning the memories and running his hands up Sidney's back. He pressed him close and reveled in the feel of his tight muscled stomach pressing Sid's dick between them. His movements became more fluid as their bodies fit together more naturally. Sidney settled over him and let him roll his hips up into him. His moans were bitten off and Alex knew he was close. 

Alex licked at the sweat slick and sensitive skin of his collar, causing Sid to wiggle his hips and relax over him just a little bit. His dick was leaking between them and Alex bit at his ear, letting his hands slide up and down his back. “When you come...you think of me. Not men you fucked. Only me.” Alex muttered quietly. Sid's mouth dropped open and he ground hard into Alex's hips. “Always should have been you...” He was muttering as his body convulsed around Alex, his come splashing between them. 

Alex held him very close and thrust up into Sidney's spasm racked body until he came deep inside him, face pressed into the delicate curve of his neck and shoulder. Alex realized that Sidney was trembling and there were goose bumps along his entire body. He withdrew from Sidney's spent body and rolled him over so that he could hover over him, releasing his hands from their bindings. Sid's eyes were still shut, his breath slowly catching up. 

“Sid keep tie, maybe remind to keep hands to self.” He muttered, noting that Sid was unresponsive. He wondered momentarily if Sidney was used to drinking that much, never having seen him dip that heavily into alcohol at all he realized he probably wasn't. Based on the evidence before him, slow shallow breaths wreaking of vodka, he was most likely going to pass out. 

Alex sighed, leaving the tie on the pillow next to him and taking one last look at Sid's peacefully slack features. He ran his thumb down one flushed cheek and when Sidney did not open his eyes he sighed, crawled off the bed and began to clean himself up. Sidney had already checked out for the night. He snorted to himself sarcastically. It was almost as though Sid were the one to leave in the middle of the night and not himself, he thought as he gathered his things to go.


	8. But first...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sidney tries to compartmentalize his life. But most of his life was locked out, maybe he'll deal with his problems better after a decent Russian meal?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short update for now, more later. Holidays effin things up. <3

Sid wasn't surprised to wake up alone, nor was he surprised that his head was pounding, what DID surprise him was the note on his nightstand containing a few bills and the mention of a taxi to go get his car. He frowned at the note and growled and flopped backwards on the bed. Ovechkin knew he didn't need his or anyone's money. There was an obvious insult implied here. And maybe Sidney was a whore, he thought to himself, as Alex was implying. He rolled over and groaned, no use thinking like that. He reached out for his cellphone and clutched it to his chest for a few moments as his hangover threatened to overtake him. 

Just a few deep breaths later he was scrolling through his contacts. He hovered over Alex's name for a few moments, letting the memories of being thoroughly fucked the night before replay themselves in full detail. Regret was losing out to nausea and he dialed Geno's number before he could change his mind. "Early Sid" Came a sleepy voice on the other end of the line. "Sorry Geno, I just...um..." He trailed off, another wave of nausea hitting him hard. He heard shuffling on the other end of the line. "Ok Sid?" Geno sounded much more alert this time, slightly concerned. "The meeting didn't go so well." Sid answered. Geno sighed. "Sad news..." he muttered. "Yeah." Sid knew that Geno would most likely go home to Russia if the lockout was going to continue. Sidney sighed and got down to the real reason he called. "Can I come see you?" He asked quietly. "Of course can come Sid..." 

He would have to take a plane, it would be a few hours at the most. Sid checked out of his hotel, retrieved his car (without using the bills Ovechkin had left him) and booked his flight faster than he'd ever managed to for himself before. Every moment was spent just not thinking. He cranked his radio up in the car, stuck his head in earphones on the plane, slept for the short flight and didn't bother doing anything more than smiling for a few cameras before he spotted Geno at the airport. 

Geno must have noticed his distress because he was oddly quiet, even given the CBA news. "Is bad time to be hockey player" Geno muttered, eyeing the gear in the back of his car sadly as he shoved Sid's suitcase in. Sid's lips quirked into a bitter smile. "Bad time all around." Sidney muttered quietly. Geno eyed him suspiciously but said nothing more of it as they got into the car. "Going home, Sid..." Sidney glanced at him speculatively before looking out his window. The tone of Geno's voice told him he was not simply telling him where they were going. "Going to see your family?" Sid asked, not looking at him, trying to ignore the numb feeling over taking him. "See family, play hockey..." Sidney frowned. "You're going to the khl?" He asked. He should have seen it coming. Of course the khl would welcome Geno back with open arms. 

"Sid stay? Stay for meetings?" Geno asked, his tone light. Sidney grit his teeth. "I have to..." The face of the nhl had to be present, that was the end of it as far as Sid was concerned. "When are you leaving?" Change the subject, keep it moving, don't think about yourself or your situation, Sid kept telling himself. "Soon." Geno slowed at a stop light and resting his hand on the wheel, turned and looked at him until Sidney absolutely had to stop studying the asphalt outside his window and look back. "See Ovechkin in photos today..." He began. No, no, no, we're not talking about this. "You talk?" Fuck. "Yeah." Sidney replied shortly, fiddling with anything he could get his hands on, scanning through radio stations. Geno swatted his hand away and then the light was green again. 

Sid sighed but knew that wouldn't be enough for Geno. Only a few moments of silence had gone by before Geno was glancing at him again. It was a few long moments before he realized Geno was eyeing the place where Alex had marked him. "Was good talk?" He asked tightly. Sidney growled and pressed his head back into the seat. "There wasn't so much talking as..." He trailed off. Geno frowned. "Of course." The last of the trip to Geno's apartment was completed in silence. Geno was still frowning when he got Sid's suitcase out of his car.

He was still frowning when he let Sid into his place. He was still frowning when Sidney put his things in the spare room and turned to him. "He hurt you?" Geno asked, his tone dark. "Its not like that, Geno." Sid sighed. "like what? He smile for you, make you forget he hurt you? Like that?" Geno crossed his arms over his chest and filled the hallway so that Sid could not get by. Sidney growled and clenched his fists. "That's not what its like. You don't know Geno, don't pretend to." Sidney could see Geno trying to calm himself down. Deep breathes and flexing shoulders. "Don't know. Is true." Geno acquiesced. "Tell then." 

"I don't feel like dealing with this right now Geno, can't I just enjoy your company? You're leaving soon aren't you? Can't we just..." Sidney was sounding pathetic even to his own ears. "Sid..." Geno looked at him soulfully, his shoulders sagging. He shook his head ruefully and let Sidney pass into the living room. "You have to deal with some time." Geno was speaking at his back. "But first, I cook." It caught Sid off guard for Geno to give up his questions so easily. He laughed a little despite his sour mood. He hadn't eaten since before yesterdays meeting and a meal would be welcome. "Geno...that...that sounds really good." He turned back and gave him a weak smile, growing into a full grin when Geno returned it.


	9. Geno tells

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Geno spills his guts, Tyler has to man up to his problems (or rather the problems he created).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> USA to play Sweden saturday at wjc? I CANT WAIT!!!! GO USA!!

Geno's cooking was awful but it filled the hole in Sid's stomach and settled his nerves at least a little. He lounged against Geno's over stuffed cushions and let his eyes droop with sleep. For the moment, things felt normal - comfortable. Geno was flipping through channels on his television and the anger from earlier seemed like it was fading into the background, forgotten, as the afternoon sun warmed the apartment. 

Sid opened his eyes when he felt the couch dip next to him. Geno had switched seats, put the remote control down and looked like he wanted to talk. Sidney sighed. "Ok Geno, you really want to do this don't you? Now? Before you leave for god knows how long? Fine then." He twisted in his seat so that he could face Geno. "Need to know you ok before I go Sid..." Sidney frowned. "You're not my keeper..." Jesus, had he regressed back to a teenager? "You come to me Sid..." Geno reminded him. Fuck logic. "Doesn't mean I owe you explanations. " Sid's lips formed a tight line, he didn't want to talk about Alex, didn't want to talk about last night. Maybe it made him selfish. He was beyond caring. 

Geno looked hurt, fuck if it didn't hurt Sid to see him that way. He sighed and rubbed his temples. "Really, Geno?" He stood and leaned back against the door to Geno's bedroom. "I told you, he doesn't hurt me. Not really. Why can't you just accept that?" Geno rose and pressed himself against Sidney. It was warm and familiar and different at the same time. The smell of his cologne and aftershave invading Sidney's senses, so very different from Alex. "Care, Sid. Care too much...." He muttered close to him. His lips found Sidney's neck and mouthed the mark that Alex had left there. Geno grasped Sid's wrists and Sidney hissed in pain. Geno backed off immediately and yanked up the sleeve of Sid's shirt and grimaced at the black and purple bruises around his wrists. "Looks like hurt." Geno growled. Sidney stared up at him defiantly for a moment. 

"It felt like..." Sidney started, if Geno really wanted to know then...."It felt like he had me, all of me, and he wasn't going to let go." The defiance never left his eyes but Geno could see a pain there. "You tell him this?" Geno asked. Sid bit his lip and fought with his instincts. He wanted Geno right now, he was so close all Sidney had to do was... "Of course not." He looked away. "I tell you. Want you Sid, too good for Sanja. Maybe too good for me. But I tell you." Geno murmured into Sid's ear. "Want you with me, in Russia." Sid sucked in a sharp breath. It was the last thing he'd expected. 

Geno grasped his jaw and pressed his lips firmly to Sid's. Closed mouth at first, pressing hard against him. Geno clenched Sid's wrists again and he winced but Geno didn't let go. He twisted the knob next to Sidney's hip and they fell into his room. Sid's thighs caught on the edge of his bed and he fell back against it. Geno pressed his wrists into the mattress above his head. "Come Sid..." Geno pleaded, pressing his face into the crook of Sid's neck, one hand trailing down his side. 

Sid lie gasping against Geno, his mind whirling with possibilities. He couldn't, Geno had to know that. Had to know that he was needed in the bargaining process. But for a moment he let himself believe that these weren't the last few moments they'd share until the lockout was over. For a moment he let his body lead instead of his head. He pressed up against Geno and let his thighs fall open to grind against Geno's obvious desire. His wrists were aching where Geno held them but he refused to pry them away. He surrendered to Geno completely. 

"Sid....come...." Geno was gasping into his mouth, his tongue finding its way in and robbing him of what was sure to be a negative answer. When Geno pulled back minutely, sharing breaths with him, Sidney didn't have the heart to tell him no. He couldn't go away, this was it for him. The league needed him, the players needed him. Malkin could obviously read his features because his face was twisting into a desperate grimace. He pressed Sid's wrists harder into the bed. "What if..." Geno started. "What if I not let go..." Geno muttered, his free hand pressing against the bulge in Sidney's pants. Sid gasped and arched into him. "What if Alex not let go...You go with him?" Geno growled. 

Sid's breath caught. He hadn't heard that Alex was leaving... was it true? Geno wouldn't lie to him...He squeezed his eyes shut and shook against Geno, desperately trying to hold his questions in check. "Want you Sid...I tell you....want you." He kept muttering. Sidney couldn't take it anymore. He didn't like being cornered. "Take me Geno, right now. Its all I can give you. Right now...is what we have." He was gasping. He was angry and sad and so very very turned on. Geno closed his eyes and moaned, rubbing against him. It sounded resigned, like he knew he'd lost. But this he could have. And if that's all Sidney would give him then....that's what he'd accept. 

When he opened his eyes Sid was looking up at him sadly, breath ragged with desire. Geno pressed his tongue into Sid's mouth once more and tucked his hand under the waist band of Sid's jeans, palming his ass. Yes, yes, this is what Sid wanted. Strong hands on him, holding him down, keeping him from falling apart like the league he was trying to save. Geno rose up and ripped the shirt up and over Sid's head, suddenly in too much of a hurry, maybe a little angry. He bit Sidney's shoulder hard and ok...maybe a lot angry. Sid shouted and bucked under him. Geno did not miss the wet spot at the front of Sid's jeans and hummed. "Sid like?" He asked roughly, biting at his nipple as he pushed Sid's pants and briefs down. His dick bobbed with want and he whined under Geno as he continued to abuse his nipples. "Sid like rough..." Geno concluded.

"Always want take time with Sid..." He leaned up to say, letting his eyes rake down the bare chest and linger where he was so hard for him. "Like slow...like...." He cut himself off, palming his own dick through his pants. He looked down at Sid again and smiled. "Know you like too...." He went on. He leaned close to Sid's ear and let his tongue flick out. "Know you like when I make feel good." And he did, oh god did he ever. Geno took care of him, held him close when they'd fucked and was always always gentle with him. He can't deny that he'd loved it. Loved every minute of it. Geno was holding him now, arms wrapped around him even as he finagled one foot out of his jeans and tore Sid's shoe off so that he could lift his thigh and press even closer. The rough fabric of Geno's pants was brushing against his cock and he whined. "Tell me Sid.." He'd held still and whispered. "Tell me you want" His english was broken but Sid understood him perfectly. His arms came around Geno's back and his fingers dug into him. It was a novelty for him, getting to touch his lovers. He was so used to these sensations being denied him. 

He drank in every moment of it, palming the hot skin of Geno's massive biceps. "I want it...I want you close to me...fucking into me...holding me..." Sid was losing his fucking mind the way Geno was pressing against him. He tried to shove Geno's pants down and Geno assisted him, wiggling out of his clothes without ever really separating from him. Sid was grasping desperately at the drawer next to Geno's bed where he knew the proper ingredients lie. He pressed the lube into Geno's hand and hitched his knee up around Geno's hip. "Geno..." Sid whispered as Geno busied himself warming the lube in his hands. Geno smiled down at him. "Not worry, still here" He rested his free hand on Sid's chest, the contact was so very welcome, Sidney griped Geno's shoulders as slick fingers stretched him open. 

Sid was noisy but Geno never seemed to mind. He nuzzled at the hand on his shoulder and when Geno's finger tips pressed against his prostate Sid's hand slipped to the back of Geno's neck and pulled him down for a desperate kiss. "Geno...." He muttered again, against his lips. "Hold me tighter...." Geno purred into Sid's hair as he aligned himself to plunge into Sidney's body. "Tell you Sid....Not want to let go..." He was gasping desperately against Sid's sweat slick skin as he pumped hard into him. Sid was crying out over and over loudly right next to Geno's ear but he didn't mind. 

Sid clung to him desperately and Geno clutched him just as tightly as their bodies moved together. It was intense and Sid thought he could feel every inch of Geno's body and he reveled in it. "please...tighter..." Sidney was still pleading, it broke Geno's heart. He squeezed him as tightly as he could as he fucked into him harder, faster. "lyublyu...Sid..." Geno was babbling at him in Russian even though he knew Sidney couldn't understand, most likely wasn't listening. Sidney pulled him in closer with his leg around his hip and rode out his orgasm as Geno mumbled more broken Russian at him, squeezing him so tightly he couldn't breathe. If he had known that Geno was professing his love to him over and over, Geno wondered, would Sid go with him? It was desperation on Geno's part but he needed to say it. 

Even if Sid didn't understand, he needed to admit it to himself. He was in love with the man under him. Completely taken with the way he fell apart beneath him, cum splattering between them and making an utter mess of their bellies. Geno came hard and shook against the hard body under him. He pet Sidney gently, running hands through his hair, down his back, over his hips, calming him as they both tried to catch their breath. Sidney relaxed back into Geno's bed and pondered what Geno had said about Alex leaving. He had to find out for sure. He hummed as Geno ran large heavy hands over his body but his mind was somewhere else. 

Miles away in Boston, Tyler Seguin was gasping next to his own lover and regretting the choice he was about to make. "I gotta play, Brad." He'd whispered in the dark. "I know..." Marchand had given in to the inevitable. Tyler was going to solicit other teams across seas to keep the money coming in. He had a truck to pay for, a dog to feed. Marchand couldn't deny the kid his reasoning. He was young, in his prime and needed to prove himself. And if he had to do it over seas then...that's what he had to do. 

Brad was oddly compliant, Tyler thought. He expected a fight and got nothing but acceptance. There were still some things he had to take care of at home but the search for a team was on. The next day he'd gotten together with what SHOULD have been his captain this season to see if the guys had a game plan. Would they be staying? Would they be going to the meetings? What was he expected to do? Was it acceptable to find a team away from what he'd made his home? 

Chara's mind was on other matters. He'd grilled Tyler about his last few days with Sidney and Alex. It was uncomfortable and made him shift uneasily. "I don't see why its so important..." Tyler had muttered over lunch with Zdeno. "Its important." Chara impressed with a serious look. "Ovechkin and Crosby have been the face of the NHL for the past 7 years. Where they go....goes the game." Chara went on. "So what's that got to do with me?" Chara looked at him with that 'i know something you wish i didn't' look. Tyler sighed. "Okay, so maybe I fucked him...them...a couple times. I still don't understand what your point is." Chara put his fork down and very calmly glared at Tyler. "I had a talk with Crosby when we were together for the nhlpa meeting. He's having a hard time. You would do well to take responsibility for whatever situation, and I don't want details, that you've created." 

Well shit, Tyler thought to himself. What the hell had Sid told him anyway? Well now he was in it. There had to be a way to dig himself out of this mess. He should have known better than to give Sid the xtc but he'd thought they were all there to have a 'good time'. He guessed his idea of a good time had changed since then...at the time though, at the time it seemed like a hell of a lot of fun. He smiled to himself and Chara cleared his throat. "Yeah...I mean, I know. I'll take care of it." Tyler replied, cheeks heated with embarrassment. Time to bite the bullet on that little mistake, he thought to himself, karma was had to catch up with him eventually. He wished it hadn't caught him in the form of an angry 7 foot slovakian though. He could have weaseled out of it had it been anyone else. 

Time to be a man, Tyler muttered to himself on the drive back to his apartment as he fiddled with his cellphone until he came to the name on his contacts he was looking for. "need to talk about our mutual 'problem'" Tyler texted Ovechkin, hoping he wouldn't find himself jumped by a pack of rabid Capitals.


	10. Hold on loosely (but don't let go)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex and Sidney try to start over.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Went through a few heartbreaking experiences in the past few months that left me too depressed to do much writing. But I think its safe to say I'm over most of it. A LOT happened in real life while i was trying to pull myself out of myself so Im skipping some things, particularly relating to the team closest to my heart, the bruins. But I will pick Tylers story back up once I've gotten where I want to in this one. I realized I can't hate my story just because my real life didn't work out. So Ima try and salvage it without too much back peddling. Heres hoping i stick with it and muddle through the mess ive made of this one.

So the NHL ended up hosting half a season. Nothing much was expected really. Not from anyone who knew the sport. With no time to warm up, those that didn't play overseas were performing poorly. The next season would be a big one however. Sidney prepared for the finals like he had every other season. He wasn't prepared to get swept by the Bruins however. He felt empty inside. He thought he'd been doing relatively well considering how things ended with his rival turned friend in Washington. They hadn't spoken to each other at all. Games were tense and he refused to answer Ovechkin's (many) calls. 

He was licking his wounds after the boston sweep when there was a knock on his hotel room door. Brad Marshand was on the other side. Sidney sighed against the peep hole. How embarrassed was he, getting swept by someone who had done so much damage to his personal life already. He opened the door cautiously. "You'd better win the cup." Sidney grunted as he walked away from the open door. A rude invitation to the other man. Marshand entered and laughed, the cutting grin never leaving his face. "Do my best...." He draped his coat over a chair and sat down with a flop. Sidney thought he looked too small to be as cocky as he was.

"I don't want to hear anymore about it." Sidney said shortly. "That's not what I'm here for anyway." Marshand replied in a low voice. "Just wanted to make sure things were going alright with you..." Sidney looked over at him. He'd been rifling through his mini fridge for gator aid when the comment caught him off guard. "You can't win the cup every season" Sidney shrugged. "You seem like you're doing better..." Brad smiled. Sidney's brow furrowed in confusion. It was like they were each holding their own conversation on different subjects. "I don't know what you mean." He paused, looked over at Brad, then it hit him. "Oh I get it..." Sidney sat down on the edge of his bed. "I have no idea why so many guys in Boston are concerned about my mental health." He downed a large gulp of his gator aid. 

"You can't even guess?" Brad laughed. "Anyway I think you're forgetting a lot of guys left the team this year." Brad stretched and glanced out the window. "But there's no use getting pissy about it." He said absently. "I just wanted to see for myself." He looked back at Sid and grinned. "After all I fucked up your professional life AND your personal life...I feel a little guilty." He shrugged. Sid frowned. "You didn't fuck up anything that wasn't already fucked up." Sidney said in an even voice. "Well there's been a lot of fucking up, a lot of fucking around...it got Tyler traded you know." Marshand leaned forward and put his elbows on his knees. "I'm next...I can feel it." 

Sidney let out a sarcastic breath of air. "I doubt it." Sidney got up and opened the door, looking at Marshand expectantly. "Okay I get it....You're sore, we fucked you pretty hard this series." Brad smirked. "Out." Was Sidney's only response, he wasn't in the mood to feel badly for the under performing Bruin. Marshand got up to leave but paused in the doorway. "You know when Tyler got traded I didn't pitch a temper tantrum." He started. Sidney mentally sighed. "That's very big of you." Sid quipped, taking a dig at the man's small stature. Marshand frowned. "I should have." He said quietly. He looked up at Sidney and for the first time during the whole exchange he could see the hurt in Marshand's eyes. "I should have held on with both hands and kicked and screamed. Even if it didn't accomplish anything. I should have." He grabbed Sidney by the shirt, he was a lot stronger than Sidney expected. "Don't make the same mistake." He left on that note, leaving Sidney to wonder if he'd tried too hard to get his lover back or if he hadn't tried hard enough.

He exchanged his water for beer and laid back on his bed with a sigh. He had really thought he'd tried. Thought his last attempt was indeed that. His last. But Marshand's words struck too close to home. When Ovechkin left for Russia Sid hadn't even attempted to contact him. He was too surly concerning their last rendezvous. When the season started again he was too pissy to even look at the man. Then he got busy in his off season with charity work to keep his mind off things. By that point another season had come and gone and he'd all but dismissed the idea of saving what little there was to save of their fucked up relationship. 

 

Alex was too old to be proud. However, don't misunderstand. He was still the cocky bastard he always was. When it came to Sidney Crosby though, he could not be too proud. He'd been hurt by the way Sid had behaved the last time they were together. It seemed like Sid NEEDED to be drunk to be with him. They'd shared drinks before and it had never bothered him but Sidney had never outright passed the fuck out before. Like he wasn't interested in talk at all. That had been fine with him in the now distant past but he felt that things had changed since then. He wanted to talk. He wanted to be with him and not be naked, not have to worry about how he'd get home from his hook up. Just be with him.   
He wasn't too proud to call. Maybe he was a little angry the first few times his calls were rejected but that didn't last. His friends had thought it desperate of him to keep trying but he didn't care what they thought. He was never too proud to extend an olive branch to the man he'd come to care about so much. It had been almost 2 years between contact with him. Discounting games of course. He couldn't blame the man or ignoring him for that. Their careers depended on it after all. No, not even that had bothered him. The two years of complete non contact was too much for him to bear though. 

Alex wasn't one to scheme. He had no elaborate plan to win him over. He simply hoped the other man would come to his senses and at least talk to him. Months of hoping to get through to him had worn his patience a little thin. Just a little. He was out of the playoffs and had been for weeks when Evgeni Malkin came to him with a bottle of Vodka and a sympathetic ear. 

"Sid...he not treat himself well." Malkin had started. "Like to be treated well, like to be taken care of but...not know how to do himself maybe...." Geno had cut straight to the chase. He had confirmed what Alex had assumed. They'd slept together. Several times. But Evgeni could not win over Sidney Crosby. Not with his dashing good looks, not with sweet promises to take care of him and never leave him alone. It was obvious to Malkin that there was room for only one in his captains heart and it wouldn't ever be him.  
"I stop sleeping with him...if make you feel better." Malkin smirked. Alex had a bitter smile on his face. "None of my business Geno..." He said, going shot for shot with Malkin's vodka. "Is your business." He replied darkly. "Both my friends...." He looked up expectantly at Alex who stared back not sure what Geno was expecting to hear. "Well?" Geno asked. "Well what?" Alex replied, pushing back from the bottle. This conversation was not one he wanted to have drunk. "What are you going to do about Sidney Crosby?" Geno asked with raised eyebrows. 

Alex hummed and thought to himself. What else could he do? "What do you suggest friend?" Alex asked helplessly. "Have vacation in Pittsburgh?" Geno shrugged. "Maybe try to be friend for him? Maybe try understand him?" Alex stared at him incredulously. He did not reply immediately but instead tried to digest what he'd been asked to do. It made sense but Sidney was not a logical animal. There was no telling what he'd do when confronted. Even as a friend. "Maybe I come to Pittsburgh." He started. "But I come for you, I don't expect anything from Sidney Crosby." Geno smiled. "Good start...go on." Alex laughed. "Maybe we drive fast." Alex continued. "Maybe we play pool?" He leaned in toward Geno and smirked conspiratorially. "Maybe I make Pittsburgh have good reason to hate me." It was a good start to a long night of drinking and Alex even felt a little bit of excitement at the idea of seeing his ex lover again. 

The summer stretched out hot and full of promise for Alexander Ovechkin but for Sidney Crosby it was uncomfortable. It wasn't just the heat. It was an ominous text from Geno explaining that his friend would be staying with him for a few weeks. Sidney knew immediately who he was referring to. He sighed and felt his heart beat a little faster. Geno had invited him over for a weekend of grilling, swimming, drinking and general summer debauchery. It would have been perfect but the unease of seeing Alex again left him a little breathless. He swallowed hard and shoved some clothes in his overnight bag. It would be like any other summer, he promised himself. He wanted to go for Geno but maybe a little part of him wanted to see what Alex had been up to in the past few months. 

He felt light headed when he arrived at Geno's place. There was a rush of adrenaline that usually only came before a big game. Feelings he only got when he knew he had to be clutch. He let out a maniacal laugh when he realized it was exactly the time to be clutch. Geno had caught him off guard and he smiled a little sheepishly. "something funny?" Geno smiled. "I'll have to tell you about it later." Sidney responded with a grin. Geno grabbed him and pulled him into a bear hug. He'd only just gotten back to Pittsburgh and it was obvious that Geno meant to make it one hell of a summer. Sidney ducked out of his arms and glanced about Geno's fully decked pad, party ready. The bar was open and friends and acquaintances waved him over. The music was loud, there were guys he knew all too well tearing each other apart verbally as they played video games, guys playing cards and he could see more people out the back doors poolside. 

Geno tugged on his arm and spoke close to his ear. "You looking for him...he here." Geno smiled against his ear. "Go find, have fun. No sad. Okay?" Sidney laughed a little dizzily. "First fun I've had since the season ended. I'm not gonna let anything ruin it." With that Geno released him into the fray. He could only hope for the best now. He was in a safe place, with people that gave a shit. No one here would let Sid do anything to hurt himself. No one would over serve him. No one cared who he slept with. No judgments.

Alex combed his fingers through his short hair. It was a little more gray than he would have liked. He frowned at himself in the mirror and chastised himself for preening like he was going on a date. He shook the thought out of his head when he heard a loud voice welcoming a new guest. His veins pumped hot tar and his heart felt overworked with the force of it. Just another party, he told himself. He was good at this sort of thing wasn't he? He returned to the party and took in the warm hellos and less than warm sarcasm from those not so warm to him with a toothy grin. "Know you guys love me" he winked and scanned the small crowd for Sid and Geno. He spotted them through the kitchen door looting the fridge for beer. "Hello friends." He smiled through the archway. Sid looked up and said nothing for several moments. "Glad you decide to join, wonder if you stay hide in room." Geno smirked. Alex laughed but his eyes were on Sidney. "Still not talk to me Sidney?" He asked with a sad smile. Sidney coughed. "Of course not. I mean...of course i'm not..not talking to you..." He trailed off awkwardly. Alex laughed heartily. "Sidney being awkward, know everythings okay now." Alex nudged Geno as he said it and it drew a soft laugh. "I;m not awkward." Sidney whined defensively. He caught himself and smiled a little. "I know you. I don't have to be awkward with you." He corrected himself. Geno patted Sidney on the shoulder. "Be good Sid." He warned before joining his friends on the patio. 

"You've gone gray..." Sid commented, leaning against a counter. Alex laughed and ran a hand through his short hair. "Stress, Sidney. Does terrible things." He sighed but the smile was stuck on his face. "You don't have that much to stress about...you were still top 5 in scoring this season." Sidney reasoned. Alex sidled up to Sidney slowly and put a hand on the counter next to him. "Not game giving stress." He winked. Sidney blushed and twitched next to him. He could feel the heat of Ovechkin's body and had to force himself to relax. "I thought you'd be angry with me." Sidney said quietly. Alex sighed a little, taking a beer from a nearby cooler. He didn't even know whose it was, Sidney thought, but that was Alex all over. Too cool to care. "Can't hang on to hard feelings Sid." He smiled and took a long draft from his bottle. "Not when concern you anyway. Learn not to squeeze you too tight or you get away." He smiled down at his drink shaking his head and obviously remember some of the rage he'd felt early on. He looked over and rose an eyebrow at Sid's drink. "Drink to good summer with me. Need one. Can't have summer like last." 

Sidney gave him a long look. He could see the wear and tear in his features. Worry lines had appeared on his forehead and while he was still young he definitely looked aged beyond what he should be. In that half smile half smirk he could see the two years of grief he had caused the man. The least he could do was toast to a good summer. "Absolutely." He smiled and clanked his bottle against Alex's. 

Geno caught the whole scene as he listened to his team mates rant and rave about trades and the like. Easy to pay just enough attention. It was hard not to frown though. It wasn't easy letting Sidney go and he still wasn't convinced it would even matter. He would still pine, he would still love, all this meant was that he gave up. It saddened him deeply but seeing Sidney sad hurt even worse. If this didn't work out for them then it would be nothing but their own fault. No misunderstandings this time. No excuses. No one trying to butt into their relationship and screw things up. If it didn't work this time around then it was every man for himself. He cast the thoughts away. No use dwelling on what he couldn't have. He watched and waited. They were inching toward each other and Geno wasn't sure if he was too pleased. Sidney looked pleased however. He was smiling and toasting and it was honestly the first time the smile had soaked in all the way to his eyeballs and Geno knew, he KNEW there was no chance for him. It had to feel good though, seeing the man he was so in love with finally happy. Not just telling everyone he was fine. He wasn't just existing right now he was actually living and having fun and Geno took a little comfort in that. 

"Play pool Sid?" Alex asked finally. "What are the stakes?" Sidney inquired as he followed Alex, trying desperately not to stare at his ass. Time hadn't touched that fine asset, he thought. "If I win?" Alex spoke as he tested the pool cues, rolling them on the table top to test their integrity. "You go on date with me." He smirked. Sidney thought for a moment with a concentrated look, checking out his weapon of choice. "And if I win you have to put out after." Sidney winked at him. Alex laughed. "I'm not that easy Sid..." He warned. "Well then I guess you'll have to win." Sidney spoke as he lined up his shot and broke the first round.


End file.
